Day 13 of my 40 day blog challenge. I am thrilled to introduce Denis who is truly an inspiration to me and has helped countless individuals in their recovery. Here he shares some of his thoughts on what recovery means…
Powerlessness is something that we all really hate. Come on, we all get a bit power mad from time to time. Whether it’s about controlling our addiction(s) – from dangerous substances to a piece of chocolate – or wanting the BT man for once to show up on time!
Thing is, CONTROL is the one thing that drove me to obsessions, and control in the end, was the one quality I can honestly say I did not have. People, places and things – just will not fall in line and OBEY ME. ARGH!!
Recovery is not about LOSING or QUITTING – it is about gaining true control over the one thing you can control; YOURSELF. Its about re-claiming what was always mine and giving over what was not.
I love recovery because it gives me power back. I have the power to change things; slowly – but trust me they change. I have had 7 career changes since being in recovery, and still do all of them in one form or other. As a result of my recovery, I have travelled to 3 different continents in the last 3 weeks. I love being able to help and serve a great deal of people in a day; I love going to bed early, and getting up to do a shed load more stuff the next day.
Recovery is about replacing “faulty powers” with “healthy powers” – its like plugging into the right power socket in the hotel bathroom for a change – rather than plugging into the wrong one and short circuiting your dryer or electric razor or toothbrush, as was our pattern in addiction.
I like to imagine we come into this world like a shinny new iMac – and like all new PC’s we need software. We need to keep upgrading it. Some of the stuff we download creates viruses, and eventually slows down the whole thing and crashes the hard drive.
Recovery is about cleaning that hard drive and writing your own software. Its about getting more power – not powerlessness. It gives me the software and tools I need to adapt and move on. I have learnt to let go of the “faulty” beliefs about myself and others – beliefs that led me to medicate or anaesthetise myself – like pressing the <IGNORE? > request too many times when a problem bug comes up on your computer.
Recovery is reclaiming what you always were – before your hard drive got interfered with or saturated by all that junk mail – its about running smooth again and regaining control. Not control of others, or the universe or what Trump is about to do next … but about giving you choices and then taking the right actions.
Some useful links to mutual aid support in your community:
For support with alcohol issues: http://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org.uk
For support with drug issues: http://ukna.org/meetings/search
For support with sex and love addiction: http://www.slaauk.org
Support for family members of someone with addiction: http://www.al-anonuk.org.uk